On to my 2nd glass of wine. Just got off the phone with the Dr. Trying to decide whether or not to do another cycle right away, stay with him or try another clinic. We won't make any big decisions today, and obviously not while I'm drinking, but I know we will try at least 1 more time. This was the first time we got to transfer stage due to my lining issues.
He said he was happy to know that the embryo was able to attach despite my thin lining but that most likely it was just a bad chromosomal match. If we were to try again, he would do a fresh transfer of at least 1 embryo at day 3 and hopefully let others continue to develop to day 5 before freezing them for future use. Doing a freeze all at day one does cause some minor damage to the embryos, which is what we did last time.
I don't know.. what would you do?
1) Stay with him - I do trust him and like his bedside manner and responsiveness plus he has our history so has a plan on what to do differently next time BUT( and this is a big but) we have to pay out of pocket another 17K.
2) Wait until open enrollment time and switch insurance coverages. Find a clinic that takes United Heathcare and utilize the 15K coverage but start fresh with a new dr who doesn't have all this history.
3) Take a break and go on a vacation to Italy or back to Ireland.
10 comments:
I'm sorry to hear, Kerie. You've waited a long time for this; I know how much you want it. Really what you want is to have a family, to be a Mom.
Honestly, I'm not sure that I would try again. It doesn't mean you won't be a parent. It means the child will not have your genes. That is all. All babies are expensive, in whatever form they come. Some are already here, needing a home. River does not have your genes either, and you can't imagine loving her more.
I also think you should have some more wine.
<3
Adoption is on the radar for sure. Nate and I want to try 1 more time for our genetic child. There are so many women who have tried many more cycles than i have and have been successful. I'm only willing to put my body through this one more time though. Then, we'll seriously look into adoption.
Thanks for your support ;)
working on the wine part :)
Also, is finding a surrogate an option? I personally know 3 different women who have been surrogates. I can't fathom this, as I did not enjoy pregnancy, but I know these people (you know one), and their love and enthusiasm is genuine.
Just a thought, if we're strictly talking biology.
I think that would make me crazier. Having my baby inside someone else? So far, the ability to carry the child is not the issue. Since we know an embryo CAN attach despite my thin lining, the dr feels the problem really is the diminishing egg quality due to my age plus the male factor. So we can create them externally, we just have to do it enough times to get a good one..
Putting it in someone else isn't really going to help.
I think u should stay with him AND if it foes not work switch coverage right afterwards and het use of the 15k from Uni. Heath. Does your current doctor take Uni. Health?
Currently we're going through Kaiser but IVF is not covered so we pay out of pocket. I called the other clinic I was considering that has slightly higher success rates for my age group and they have an 8-12 month wait. Plus, they are completely out of network so it would cost about the same regardless of the insurance carrier we have
Such a hard question, emotionally and financially. Wish you didn't have to make it! I think I'd go for it again right away though. It sounds like you guys have laid some good groundwork with this doctor/clinic, plus with all the hormones already in your system, maybe it would be easier/better to do back to back cycles than take a break and have to re-start everything in a few months. I've also heard that fertility can increase for several months following a miscarriage or chemical pregnancy...but I kind of wonder if that's just something people say to make you feel better!
hi kerie. i'm so sorry to hear friend. there are no words.
i was once in your place. we had just received the devastating news regarding our 2nd failed transfer, and were definitely at a crossroad. at one point, i could not imagine cycling + transferring with anyone else (e.g., bedside manner, our dr.'s commitment and compassion, his experience, the team ofn nurses that practically became family) but ultimately, i decided to research and consider other doctors most especially after my previous dr. wanted to utilize the same protocol after we failed twice.
what do you think about consulting with dr. zouves in foster city? his consultations are free, and his immunological testing is well worth your time (rule immune + clotting issues out). for a thorough consultation, prepare to get electronic copies of your medical records.
regardless... sleep on it. revisit it with nate in a few days. do things that fill and build you up after this recent experience. which by the way, can totally include bubbly and brunch with me at the rotunda at neiman marcus. ;)
if you have it in you to give it one more try... then yes! one more try it is. ian and i often say: at least we know that we truly gave it our all (whatever that means to us).
thinking of you, and sending my love to you + nate. Xo
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