Hello exhaustion and nausea

Today I've been so tired I barely left my recliner except to pee. This evening I think I waited too long to eat and felt extremely listless then nauseated. Ugh.  This is not going to be fun.

Ginger ale, ginger chews and ginger candy by my side at all times.

I'm Dumb

I'm going stir crazy waiting for 12/5 to roll around.  I've been feeling so normal lately so I got the idea to take a pregnancy test and see if the line is still really dark. It was WAY lighter...

I panicked for about 30 min before I realized the line on the right is the control line.  Yah, I'm still pregnant and crazy and just caused myself unnecessary stress. What I wouldn't give for a drink! :) 

HAHA  

GRUMPY!!!!!

I'm feeling much more like normal lately. No more pains in the side etc, but my hormones must be out of control because I snap at the littlest things! Poor Nate.. Hahah 

12/5 hurry up!!!

Pulled a muscle?

I was a bit lightheaded this morning and felt a bit nauseated but thought it was just the start of morning sickness maybe.

Then later today I bent down to pick something up and felt a pretty intense cramping in my lower right ovary area. 

It's now a dull ache but of course my mind is reeling and thinking crap what if one of the embryos ended up implanting in my tube and I have an ectopic pregnancy? The HCG numbers are super high so there's something in my uterus for sure, but one could have gone on a walkabout too! It's super rare I know, but I'm still a bit worried.

I'm fairly certain it's a muscle thing because when I stand up and stretch I can feel the pain area stretch too. Sigh.

I emailed dr Harris and I'll go to the ER if it's worse tomorrow or if I start bleeding. 

Blah!

Fun with Names

Passing the time trying to think of names for potential Mosslings.  It's way too easy to think of funny names with the last name Moss.  It presents an interesting challenge. I want something unique but not too out there.  Boy names are not as hard to think of.  We have a few we both like.  Girl names are harder.   I want a strong name for a girl. One that's not too girly but not butch either.  So hard.

Here's a list of silly names that are on the NO list just for fun.  What other goofy names can you think of?

Gluteus Maxim Moss
Pete Moss
Forest Moss
Harry Moss
Minnie Moss
Blossom Moss
Brook Moss
Jade Moss
Leif Moss

We might be having a tribe...

2nd HCG numbers came back at 3561.

It's supposed to roughly double every 24 hours and it did.  HCG levels vary widely so it's hard to use them as a guide to know how many are in there, but high numbers like this can be a sign of multiples according to the nurse.

Reading the charts below, ovulation is egg retrieval for IVF patients. We are 18 days past "ovulation" and well within the twin range.

Beta scores for successful twin pregnancies:

But it could also be triplets.  

Beta scores for successful triplet pregnancies:

Of course I'm googling things I shouldn't and seeing that really high HCG levels can be a sign of what's called a Molar pregnancy  which is not viable.   Sigh.  Don't stress Kerie.

Ultrasound is scheduled for 12/5. We should be able to see the # of sacks and hopefully heartbeat(s).

Still can't believe this is actually happening....

Learning to Speak IVF

Last year I found a fantastic support group on Facebook called IVF buddies.  Women from all around the world who are going through fertility and IVF treatments sharing our stories, providing support, and celebrating each other's successes.   I honestly think it's helped me to stay mostly sane.  At any time of the day or night I could post a question and have an answer or opinion back from someone who's been through what I'm dealing with at that moment.

One of the biggest hurdles is to learn the IVF code. haha.

Take a look:

2WW Two week wait

16dp3dt 16 days past 3 day transfer

ACA Anticardiolipin Antibodies

AF Aunt Flo = period arriving / bleeding starting

AH Assisted Hatching

AHR Assisted Human Reproduction

ANA Antinuclear Antibodies

ART Assisted Reproductive Technologies

BBT Basal Body Temperature

BCP Birth Control Pill

Beta hCG level blood test

BFP/BFN Big Fat Positive/Negative

BMI Body Mass Index

COH Controlled Ovarian Hyperstimulation

CD Cycle Day

DH/DW/DS/DD Dear Husband/Wife/Son/Daughter

Dx Diagnosis

ED Egg Donor

EDD Estimated Due Date

ER/ET Embryo Retrieval/Transfer

FSH Follical Stimulating Hormone

FET Frozen Embryo Transfer

GIFT Gamete intra-fallopian tube transfer

GS Gestational Surrogate

hCG Human Chorionic Gonadfotropin

HPT Home Pregnancy Test

ICSI Intra-Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection

IP Intended Parent

IUI Intra-Uterine Insemination

IVF In Vitro Fertilization

IVIg Intra-venous immunoglobulin therapy

IVM In Vitro Maturation

LAP Laproscopy

LMP Last Menstrual Period

LH Luteinizing Hormone

LP Luteal Phase

LPD Luteal Phase Defect

MF Male Factor

NK (Cells) Natural Killer Cells

OHSS Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome

OTD Official Test Date

PCO Polycystic Ovarian Disease

PCOS Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

PCP Primary Care Physician

PGD Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis

PID Pelvic Inflammatory Disease

POAS Pee on a stick - home pregnancy test

POF Premature Ovarian Failure

PUPO Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise

RE Reproductive Endocrinologist

Rx Prescription

SM Surrogate Mom

TCM Traditional Chinese Medicine

TDI Therapeutic Donor Insemination

TET Tubal Embryo Transfer

TR Tubal Reversal

TS Traditional Surrogate

TSH Thyroid Stimulating Hormone

TTC Trying To Conceive

UR Urologist

ZIFT Zygote intra-fallopian tube transfer

We're PREGNANT!!!!

I'm sitting at my desk at home staring at two baby shower invitations for the same day.  One is for my cousin in Oakdale and the other for a good friend in San Jose.  Sadly, I won't be able to make both but soon I hope there'll be one for me.

The HCG numbers are high. REALLY HIGH.  1800 at 13dp3dt.  Dr says there is a strong possibility of twins.  If all three stuck I'm going to be so huge I'll need a wheelchair for the last 4 months. Haha.  And if one of them split??!!!  Don't panic, don't panic...

For now, I'm so grateful and shocked and happy and terrified.  HA. We still have many milestones to get past before we're out of the woods but it's a fantastic start.

According to this calculator  I'm 4 weeks pregnant. I know that sounds weird, but doctors calculate the # of weeks based on your last menstrual cycle. So even though they've only been inside me a little less than 2 weeks I am already 4 weeks along.

If there is 1 in there, due date will be around July, 26, 2015.  If there are multiples it will be sooner.

Have a glass of champagne or wine for me! It will be a while before I can :)

11dp3dt - line still there!

I'm not sleeping well. Sigh. My stomach is feeling better though so for that I'm grateful. Spent the last two hours cleaning out my closet and dresser to pack away things that don't fit and get rid of things I don't want. 15-20 lbs has significantly reduced the number of cute things in my closet I can wear! It's only the beginning right? 

10dp3dt - Feeling Better

I'm feeling better today. Less bloated so yay!

I've decided to try not to test today.  I have 2 left and will probably do 1 more before the blood test on Monday just to make sure the line is still there.   Anxious to see the HCG number and hope it will be over 100.

Happy it's Friday!

9dp3dt Bloated!

But that line keeps getting darker! Stick baby(s) stick!

My stomach hurts bad though. I emailed the Dr and he says its normal. Yay? What worries me a bit is OHSS but so far I have no problems breathing and no vomiting, etc.  If that happens we'll be going to the hospital for sure.

Better start clearing out that back room to make a nursery...

8dp3dt - Lines getting darker

I'm still in shock and disbelief. I probably will be until we see a heartbeat hopefully in a few weeks. 

4 more days until we get the blood test. Come on embryo(s) keep growing! 

7dp,3dt line is still there

And maybe getting a bit darker? This is a good sign. Fingers crossed this continues 

6dp,3dt and um... THIS JUST HAPPENED

!!!! Last cycle I tested on day 7 and it was negative. The fact that it's coming back positive so early is a good sign I think. Trying not to get too excited until we know the HCG number because it could still end in a chemical or other not good thing, but YAY for now. 

I'm a weakling and will probably do this every day until 11/17 when we do the blood test.  The other tests I have are the double line kind. Hopefully we'll be able to see the line getting darker and darker.

Deep breaths.  Are we ready for this? ACK!


Decided to do a double line one just to make sure. It's super faint, but it's there...

Putting the ring next to it helps the camera focus. 

4dp3dt - SO TIRED and Stabbing Pains

I cannot seem to get enough sleep, but when I try I don't stay asleep :(.  Frustrating. I'm sure its the hormones they have me on.

Yesterday, I felt some pretty intense stabbing pains in my lower abdomen.  Either I ate something bad or it was implantation? haha.

9 more days until we test!

3 Days Past, 3 Day Transfer (3dp3dt)

So far so good.  The swelling from the stim drugs and surgery seems be going down and I feel like something else is going on down there. It's still really early but I had some stabbing pains yesterday.  Maybe early implantation from the embryo that was growing super fast?  Who knows.

This waiting game sucks!   The progesterone and estrogen supplements I'm on can mimmic pregnancy symptoms, so trying not to read too much into every twinge or wave of nausea.

Timeline

Here's what's happening day by day:



11/5 - 1 day post transfer - embryo is growing and developing
11/6/ - 2  days post transfer - Embryo is now a blastocyst
11/7 - 3 days post transfer - Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
11/8 - 4 days post transfer - Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
11/9 - 5 days post transfer - Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
11/10 - 6 days post transfer - Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
11/11 - 7 days post transfer - Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells &  fetal cells
11/12 - 8 days post transfer - Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
11/13 - 9 days post transfer - More HCG is produced as fetus develops 
11/14 - 10 days post transfer - More HCG is produced as fetus develops 
11/15 - 11 days post transfer - HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT

My blood test is on 11/17.  I'll probably cave and pee on a stick around day 9-10 but won't get too excited until I know the HCG number. Last time I was technically pregnant but the HCG number was only 28 and fell, resulting in a chemical pregnancy which is basically an early miscarriage. 

3 Beautiful Embryos Onboard!

2, grade 1 and 1, grade 2 embryos! I'm so happy for some good news finally. The Dr and embryologist we're excited to tell us that they rarely see grade 1 embryos with so many cells at day 3. 

This is better than last time. Last round we had 1, grade 1 and 2, grade 2s but they were not dividing as fast plus they were frozen.  These are fresh and already at 12cells, 8 cells, and 10 cells and had grown even since this morning. 

  

Still, the chances of this working at all are in the 35-45% range but the embryos are better than last time and even then one of hem implanted but was most likely a bad chromosomal match. 

See the lights in the red circle? Those are the air bubbles from the catheter that deposited the embryos in my uterus. :) 

Dr Harris and Nate did the "Jamaican baby dance" over my uterus Hahha. Hopefully it helped.:) 

Dr Harris said "Now since we both did it, you're going to get twins."  HAHA I hope so :) 

Feeling pretty positive and hopeful. We test on 11/17 but I'll probably pee on a stick around 11/13 or 11/14. 

Thank you all for your support. These next two weeks are going to be tough. 

Transfer Day!

Off to get me preggers. Transfer day! 

Transfer is Tomorrow at 2

I keep staring at my phone willing it to ring. They won't look at the embryos today but I should be getting call with the time for our transfer appointment tomorrow. Staring isn't helping.

...

It finally rang. We're scheduled for a 2 pm transfer tomorrow. Fingers crossed all three embryos are thriving and we'll be able to transfer them all.  We'll know tomorrow.

After 4 cycles, 20lbs, and 40K I'm exhausted. Hope is a dangerous thing. I'm tired of living on the edge of maybe.  One last shot.

Only 3 Fertilized

Out of 8 mature embryos.  What the heck!?  That means this is our last shot.  None left over to freeze because the Dr. will want to put all three back in to give us the best chance.  Providing they all make it to day 3 (Tuesday) for transfer.

I know, I know, stay positive. There's still a chance.  It's so freaking hard!

Feeling angry and sad and defeated.

8 Mature Eggs

Just out of retrieval. 8 mature eggs retrieved. We'll know how many fertilized tomorrow. 

That's 2 more than last time. A little less than what is was hoping but not bad. 

Yay!