Confirmed Negative. Now What?

Kaiser test came back with HCG less than .24, which is a negative.  We have been considering options including calling it and letting Sebastian be an only child.

Since we moved out of CA, I have the opportunity to change my coverage to United Healthcare and get 1 more round of IVF paid for. Still, the chances of it working are around 20%.

I'm tired. I'm 41.  I'm ready to move on from this part of my life. We've been struggling with infertility for the last 3+ years.  We have a miracle perfect child.   On the other hand, if I don't give it one last try will I always wonder?  Part of me feels like I owe it to Sebastian to try to give him a sibling.

Other options include looking into adoption or fostering.  If we want a baby the wait could be another 2-4 years.  Fostering an older child could come with some serious challenges we need to be ready to face.

I don't want to go down the path of donor eggs or surrogacy. That much I know.  There have also been some studies trying to determine if long term risks of IVF include increased chances of uterine, ovarian and breast cancers.  So far nothing has been proven, but some doctors feel it can increase risks.

Nate is supportive but leaving the decision on whether or not to try again up to me since it is my body.

Maybe we should be done. Do a show. Travel again. Give Sebastian everything we can for a happy life.

Sigh.  One thing I know for sure is I'm drinking tonight.

10dp 3dt - nope

Still negative. Blood test tomorrow to confirm what I already know.

9dp 3dt - Still Nothin

Still negative. Blood test is on Wednesday.  Feeling sad.

8dp 3dt still negative

I think it's fair to say this round didn't work.  The blood test is on Wednesday but if anything took it would most likely be showing up by now.

Trying to be grateful for what we have in our miracle baby Sebastian, but it's hard.

Looking forward to "celebrating" with some wine after Wednesday when we know for sure.

6dp 3dt (6 Days Past, 3 Day Transfer)

I know its early, but over the counter test is negative.  This time last cycle with Sebastian I could see a very faint line by this time.  Will try again tomorrow.

6 Good Eggs Retrieved

The dr was able to get out 11 eggs yesterday but only 6 of them are usable.  5 are fully mature and 1 was almost mature as of yesterday. It could fully mature outside my body (crazy huh?) so fingers crossed.

We are waiting on the fertilization report today.

Sebastian's cycle we got 8 out with 7 mature and 1 almost mature. Only 3 fertilized last time, so I'm thinking this time the results will be 2-3 if we are lucky.

Waiting for the phone to ring...

--- UPDATE-----

3 fertilized and all of them are grade A. ACK! Going in on Saturday for transfer. I know he's going to want to put them all back in for the highest chances of success but all three are grade A. That makes me really nervous for twins or even triplets!

Day 13 - Trigger Tonight!

Houston we are good to go!  6-7 good sized eggs growing in there so we are triggering tonight. Lining is 6.6 which is better than it ever has been before.

So, Wednesday 9/28 retrieval and Saturday 10/1 transfer.  Yep, 10/1 is the day the moving truck is coming.  Everything all at once!!!!!

I tried to move the truck up a day to Friday but nope. They are all booked up.  So, Mom & Dave will have to manage. We've started lists of things that can stay behind and come up in another shared truck later.

I'm safe to fly on Sunday 10/2 as planned.

Then we wait 2 weeks and I get to figure out how to do the tests up there instead of having to fly back to CA.

2 more shots. I can do this.

Day 9 of Stimulation

Dr apt this morning is showing 5-6 decent sized eggs growing. That's less than last time. Dr thinks trigger will be Monday 9/26 and retrieval Wed 9/28 so possible transfer of any fertilized eggs on 10/1.

10/1 is when the moving truck is coming! Weee for timing.  Thankfully mom & Dave will be here to direct the movers while Nate and I go get pregnant.

I'm nervous for only 5-6 eggs though. With 8 last time, only 3 fertilized.  We'll be lucky if 1-2 fertilize this time and even luckier if one of those sticks and becomes a baby.

Fingers crossed.

In the mean time, I"m exhausted. Trying to pack a box here and there and do as much as I can. Glad we started early and had so much help on Saturday!

Here we go again

Because we don't have enough going on in our lives with raising a 14 month old and moving to Oregon in 2 weeks, we have started stims for baby #2 this morning.  I did the injection myself while Nate wrangled the kiddo. If everything lines up, we'll transfer any embryos 2-3 days before the moving truck comes on 10/1. 

Weeeee!