Canceling this FET cycle. Lining is still too thin :(

Today has been a roller coaster.

At around 5:30 am I was still in bed, but had a scratchy tickle in my throat so I reached over for my water bottle and took a sip. In the dark I failed to put the bottle fully back on the side table and it fell to the floor.  I jumped out of bed to pick it up before too much water spilled and hit my head on the corner of my nightstand.  HARD.  Blood and screaming at 5:30 am.

PRETTY HUH?!

I went back to sleep for a bit, but had to be in Fremont by 7:30 am for my IVF appointment.  The lab was packed with people standing outside in the hallway waiting for their number to be called.  45 minutes later I finally get called and into the chair for the blood draw. There are only 2 people drawing blood and going incredibly slow.  The girl who takes mine must have hit a tiny vein because the second vial wouldn't fill.  She kept moving the needle around to find the vein again. That has never happened to me! I have giant veins you can see through the skin.  Sigh. She ended up just pouring some from the first vial into the second so she didn't have to poke me again.

Unfortunately the frustration wasn't over for the day.  The ultrasound showed my lining has gone from 4mm to 5.5mm. They like to see 8mm, minimum 7. The 1.5mm improvement is good considering I was on all the new meds for less than a week especially since Kaiser was out of Premarin and I had to pick it up at Walgreens.  Its not ideal though. :(  The doctor said we could choose what to do.  1) Go ahead and transfer knowing the chances of implantation are significantly reduced or 2) cancel this cycle, let me have a period and then try again.  He would start the Viagra etc earlier in the cycle in hopes that my lining would be better faster.

As much as we do not want to wait any more we can't risk losing the embryos we have and having to start all over with a fresh cycle that would cost us another 17-20k.  Doing another frozen cycle will only cost us another $300 hundred or so and we know we have 4 fertilized embryos already.

So, after more tears and heartache we've decided to try again. But! Not before we take a break and go to Hawaii and relax a bit.   I plan to continue with acupuncture at least one time per week plus maybe some fertility yoga when we start the next cycle.

I ended up going to my regular Kaiser dr this afternoon for my eye. Thankfully its just a superficial cut but boy does it hurt.  Dr doesn't think I need stitches.   Yay for one good thing I guess.

I need a drink.

Today would have been my FET transfer day

Had my lining behaved. :( I'm sad today. So much waiting and so many drugs and I feel like we are no closer to achieving pregnancy and I've gained 10lbs for nothing. 

Scan tomorrow morning to see if all these new drugs are helping. I've been going to acupuncture as well. 

Viagra, L-Argenine, Co Q10, Premarin, Baby Asprin, Estrace, Lupron and Prenatal Vitamins

THAT's the cocktail my poor body is on.  

Prenatal Vitamin 1 Orally per day
CoQ10 200mg Orally every day
L-Arginine 1000mg Orally twice a day
Premarin 0.625mg Orally twice a day
Sildenafil (Viagra) 20mg Vaginally once a day.
Estrace 4mg vaginally twice a day
Lupron injection 5 units 1x per day
81mg baby Asprin 1x per day

My stomach is not terribly happy with me but so far that's the only side effect.  Dr. is hoping the viagra will help with blood flow.  The CQ10 and L-Arginine are supposed to do the same. Estrace vaginally will increase the estrogen directly to the uterus.  

If this doesn't get my lining to at least 7mm I don't think anything will :(

2/21 Update - Uterine Lining Must be Broken :(

Just got back from the dr and despite tripling my estrogen intake, eating pineapple core and brazil nuts, drinking pomegranate juice and going to acupuncture my uterine lining remains at 4mm. I don't know what else to do. The FET transfer scheduled for 2/27 is going to be postponed. Dr is waiting for test results from this morning's blood draw to determine what to do next.

He is talking about doubling the estrogen again which is perfect timing for the wedding we are going to this weekend. I'll be insane and sick. YAY.

Lining STILL Too Thin!

Had another ultrasound this morning. My uterine lining is still really thin at 4mm. Dr doubled my dose of estrogen to 16mg per day. UGH.  I asked him if there is anything I can do to help it grow. I'v read about eating pineapple, consuming wheat germ oil and he said, "Sure, knock yourself out but it won't help."  :(  I feel so helpless and I'm getting really tired of waiting for my body to do what its supposed to do!

Another ultrasound is scheduled for 2/21 before we head out of town for a friend's wedding. Hopefully we'll get some better news then.

Messed up my meds again :(

Its not a huge mistake and I caught it just one day late, but still.  I was supposed to increase the dose of my Estradiol to 2mg 3x a day yesterday instead if the 2mg 2x a day I've been on.

I'm so tired of not sleeping and feeling like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I need a personal nurse or I need to tape the medication calendar to my forehead.  Working from home today since I didn't sleep well last night. I'm thankful that is an option for me.

Estrogen Supplements :(

Are making me headachy and nauseous again.  I think the fresh cycle was easier than this frozen cycle!

I'm supposed to go to a bridal shower later today. We'll see how well I feel.  This is getting old :(

Some Good News - Blood Work & Ultrasound

Even though I messed up and stopped taking the active birth control pills too early, we are still on track for 2/27 FET transfer.   Dr.  Harris said the risk was if I had started to create follicles then taken the Lupron my body could have created cysts on the ovaries, but everything looked fine today.    I start taking the estrogen supplements tomorrow which should start the lining thickening.  Thankfully we get to decrease the Lupron to 5 units tomorrow.

Still fighting insomnia but my stomach seems to be better so I'm thankful for that.

Dr. said I could have 1 glass of wine a day until transfer then nothing :) YAY!

Day by Day..

Feeling tired.  Oh so very tired.  Up until 2 am two nights in a row with insomnia.  I'm so exhausted but when I lay down,  I can't sleep.  Its getting really old.  If I'm the slightest bit hungry I have to get up and eat bread and peanut butter.  That seems to be the only thing my tummy likes lately.

Oh, and I've gained 6lbs.  :(

Tomorrow is another blood test and ultrasound.  Hope to have an idea if this cycle can be saved or not.

Monday Monday...

Today was the first day in over a week that I woke up without a headache.  Yay.  My stomach felt fine so I went in to work.  After lunch however, my stomach decided to reject lunch. Thank goodness I work close to home and I can work from home when needed.

I'm getting really tired of not feeling well.  In fact its making me angry. At least I'm recognizing that though right?

Last night was the last double dose of birth control so I'm hoping I'll feel better tomorrow.

Birth Control Pill Mixup and Feeling Like Crap on an Apple

Friday night just before bed, I realized in a panic why I had started my cycle early.   I had been taking the placebo birth control pills, not the active ones. In my 20 years of being on and off the pill I have never done that.  Obviously, I didn't sleep well that night.  I had been off the active pills for 6 days.  I was supposed to stop taking them on 2/3, a full week later.

Saturday morning I called the nurse on her personal cell phone.  I wasn't sure this was an emergency but I figured since we're paying cash for these procedures and she gave us her number for urgent things, it was worth giving her a call.  

She sent a txt to dr Harris and he responded a few hours later saying he wanted me to take 2 active pills Saturday night and 2 Sunday night then stop again.   I'm not sure the reason but I think its to make sure I shed all the lining before they build it back up again for the transfer.

Today is Sunday and I feel like CRAP!  Nauseated, head aches, rumbly tummy, and exhausted. Did I mention I've had a headache for a week now? Ever since starting the Lupron.

Last night we went to see a friend in a production of A Chorus Line and I had to inject myself in the bathroom of the restaurant. Fun times.

I'm big whiney complainy lump today. I'm so thankful for my wonderful husband who is patient and kind.  Just wish he could be the science experiment for a while instead of me :)

Sitting in bed, sipping ginger ale and nibbling on crackers.