2nd Try at FET May 18th

We're back on the schedule to try again with a targeted transfer date during the week of May 18th, my 29th birthday.  What a birthday present huh?  God, please let me have a baby before I'm 40. 

I burst into tears when the girl in the financial dept told me we owe them more money.  We have it, its not that... its just that we keep paying for nothing.  I'm so tired of having nothing to show for all we've done and all I've suffered.  I received yet another invitation to a baby shower for a friend.  I'm very happy for my friends but I just can't.  I'll be a mess. I can't even bring myself to knit anything baby related. 

We're off to Maui in less than 2 weeks.  That makes me feel better. 

Canceling this FET cycle. Lining is still too thin :(

Today has been a roller coaster.

At around 5:30 am I was still in bed, but had a scratchy tickle in my throat so I reached over for my water bottle and took a sip. In the dark I failed to put the bottle fully back on the side table and it fell to the floor.  I jumped out of bed to pick it up before too much water spilled and hit my head on the corner of my nightstand.  HARD.  Blood and screaming at 5:30 am.

PRETTY HUH?!

I went back to sleep for a bit, but had to be in Fremont by 7:30 am for my IVF appointment.  The lab was packed with people standing outside in the hallway waiting for their number to be called.  45 minutes later I finally get called and into the chair for the blood draw. There are only 2 people drawing blood and going incredibly slow.  The girl who takes mine must have hit a tiny vein because the second vial wouldn't fill.  She kept moving the needle around to find the vein again. That has never happened to me! I have giant veins you can see through the skin.  Sigh. She ended up just pouring some from the first vial into the second so she didn't have to poke me again.

Unfortunately the frustration wasn't over for the day.  The ultrasound showed my lining has gone from 4mm to 5.5mm. They like to see 8mm, minimum 7. The 1.5mm improvement is good considering I was on all the new meds for less than a week especially since Kaiser was out of Premarin and I had to pick it up at Walgreens.  Its not ideal though. :(  The doctor said we could choose what to do.  1) Go ahead and transfer knowing the chances of implantation are significantly reduced or 2) cancel this cycle, let me have a period and then try again.  He would start the Viagra etc earlier in the cycle in hopes that my lining would be better faster.

As much as we do not want to wait any more we can't risk losing the embryos we have and having to start all over with a fresh cycle that would cost us another 17-20k.  Doing another frozen cycle will only cost us another $300 hundred or so and we know we have 4 fertilized embryos already.

So, after more tears and heartache we've decided to try again. But! Not before we take a break and go to Hawaii and relax a bit.   I plan to continue with acupuncture at least one time per week plus maybe some fertility yoga when we start the next cycle.

I ended up going to my regular Kaiser dr this afternoon for my eye. Thankfully its just a superficial cut but boy does it hurt.  Dr doesn't think I need stitches.   Yay for one good thing I guess.

I need a drink.

Today would have been my FET transfer day

Had my lining behaved. :( I'm sad today. So much waiting and so many drugs and I feel like we are no closer to achieving pregnancy and I've gained 10lbs for nothing. 

Scan tomorrow morning to see if all these new drugs are helping. I've been going to acupuncture as well. 

Viagra, L-Argenine, Co Q10, Premarin, Baby Asprin, Estrace, Lupron and Prenatal Vitamins

THAT's the cocktail my poor body is on.  

Prenatal Vitamin 1 Orally per day
CoQ10 200mg Orally every day
L-Arginine 1000mg Orally twice a day
Premarin 0.625mg Orally twice a day
Sildenafil (Viagra) 20mg Vaginally once a day.
Estrace 4mg vaginally twice a day
Lupron injection 5 units 1x per day
81mg baby Asprin 1x per day

My stomach is not terribly happy with me but so far that's the only side effect.  Dr. is hoping the viagra will help with blood flow.  The CQ10 and L-Arginine are supposed to do the same. Estrace vaginally will increase the estrogen directly to the uterus.  

If this doesn't get my lining to at least 7mm I don't think anything will :(

2/21 Update - Uterine Lining Must be Broken :(

Just got back from the dr and despite tripling my estrogen intake, eating pineapple core and brazil nuts, drinking pomegranate juice and going to acupuncture my uterine lining remains at 4mm. I don't know what else to do. The FET transfer scheduled for 2/27 is going to be postponed. Dr is waiting for test results from this morning's blood draw to determine what to do next.

He is talking about doubling the estrogen again which is perfect timing for the wedding we are going to this weekend. I'll be insane and sick. YAY.

Lining STILL Too Thin!

Had another ultrasound this morning. My uterine lining is still really thin at 4mm. Dr doubled my dose of estrogen to 16mg per day. UGH.  I asked him if there is anything I can do to help it grow. I'v read about eating pineapple, consuming wheat germ oil and he said, "Sure, knock yourself out but it won't help."  :(  I feel so helpless and I'm getting really tired of waiting for my body to do what its supposed to do!

Another ultrasound is scheduled for 2/21 before we head out of town for a friend's wedding. Hopefully we'll get some better news then.

Messed up my meds again :(

Its not a huge mistake and I caught it just one day late, but still.  I was supposed to increase the dose of my Estradiol to 2mg 3x a day yesterday instead if the 2mg 2x a day I've been on.

I'm so tired of not sleeping and feeling like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I need a personal nurse or I need to tape the medication calendar to my forehead.  Working from home today since I didn't sleep well last night. I'm thankful that is an option for me.