5.5mm. Moving Forward

We're back where we were when we canceled both times before.  But, at least this time we know there is nothing more we could have done to make it better.   In the end, all of the extra estrogen and viagra did nothing to help my body grow a thicker lining. it reduces our overall chances of the embryos embedding but we're going to go head with the transfer on Friday 5/23 because there is nothing else left to try.

I'm hopeful it will still work.

Daily pill regimen

New thing to shove where the sun don't shine

Still doing the Viagra rockets too! 

Happy birthday intramuscular injection to me!

My sister in law just stabbed me in the butt with a 2 inch needle! IM estradiol injection plus all the extra I'm taking orally I'm surprised I'm still standing. Yay! Haha 

It actually didn't hurt much. It's the welt and soreness after that is annoying. 

Full Steam Ahead - Lining be Damned

Holy mother of batman that needle was huge.  The intramuscular injection of yet another formulation of estrogen was scary.  I looked at that needle and about passed out.  Thankfully, the nurse was very skilled and all I felt was a small prick.  I was still bracing for a stabbing pain when she said, "Are you ok? We're done."  So far I feel ok. A bit more tired but no nausea yet. High amounts of estrogen can do that.

We pick up another one of the same shots today, so it can be administered on Sunday. Thankfully my sister in law is in nursing school so she gets to stab me in the other butt cheek for practice. Yay?

So, regardless of the state of my uterine lining we are moving forward with transfer on Friday 5/23.  We've done everything we could possibly do to give them their best chance of survival.  I hope we can get back to at least where we were in the last cycle at 5.5mm.  I go back on Monday for the last round of blood work and another "date" with the ultrasound wand.

This weekend is a family reunion in the central valley.  Hopefully I won't feel too crappy and can enjoy the fun and maybe a glass of wine or two. We'll see.

Thanks for all the support and encouragement.

Stuck at 4.5mm

Sometimes despite everything you do, you have to accept what is.  My lining is no longer responding to the drugs. We're stuck at 4.5mm which is a full mm less than where we were last time when we decided to cancel.

I'm so frustrated and tired. I've been working out, eatin well, drinking less alcohol, taking a million supliments, going to acupuncture.... Nothing helps my stubborn body.

 I'm back at the hospital waiting for an intramuscular injection of another estrogen formula plus he doubled the estrogen and Viagra I'm already taking and we'll check in again on Monday to determine if we are pushing back the transfer or going ahead next week  

We have a big family reunion this weekend so yay for feeling like crap during all the fun. 😞

Finally Good News!

The cold rockets are working!  The viagra suppositories are slightly rocket shaped and have to be kept in the refrigerator so I've been joking that I have to shove cold rockets up my hooha.  Fun times! But hey, whatever works!!!

My lining is still slightly thin but is growing faster than it ever has before.  Its at 4.7-4.9 now depending on where he measured. That's almost as good as its ever been!  I'm finally hopeful that something may be going right and this might actually work for us.  One step at a time. I go back next Thursday for another ultrasound and hopefully aim to transfer a few frozen babiesicles on 5/22.

Today Began With Such Promise

I was excited to go to work today because I finally got to move into an office! I've been stuck out in a bull pen open space area for over a year.  I move all my stuff including a gigantic monitor (which I love) and get everything set up only to receive an email an hour later NOT to move into the office because they are reconfiguring the space for 2 desks instead of 1, tomorrow instead of in a few months like we were originally told.

So I stuff everything into the rolling file drawer and move it and then the monitor, the footrest etc etc all back to my old space and go home.

Then, a well meaning friend posts on Facebook that he and his wife are expecting.  He tags me in the post because he wants my help with his resume because he's also just lost his job. Sigh. I'm happy and sad for them.  Frustrated and sad for myself and exhausted because I couldn't get to sleep last night until 3 am.   Why does everything have to be so hard?

First day of Estrogen, viagra and all the supplements again

Had a bout with a stomach virus last week that made it impossible for me to take all the supplements.  I continued with the shots but the taking all those pills on a stomach that was rejecting food was not going to happen.

Feeling much better and just in time to start the mega doses of estrogen, viagra vaginal suppositories and resume the supplements.  Its quite a shock to my system to go from zero estrogen to 12mg per day. I am already not feeling great. Headaches from the Lupron shots are a daily affair and now the nausea that accompanies rapid increases in estrogen. Good thing its Saturday and we don't really have firm plans to be anywhere.

Trying to stay positive and hopeful that this cycle will be different and my lining will grow.  Having River to focus my energy on has helped so much but its hard not to be dreading the scan next week when I am fairly certain the news will be less than glorious.

My TSH levels have dropped so that's good. Meaning the thyroid issue the dr thought could be part of the problem seems to have resolved itself for now.  Hopefully we'll keep testing that to be sure.

Thats all for now.